Us kids that do eventuate
wave chubby fingers digitate.
Our little feet folks titivate.
We squirm and squeal and cachinnate.
Our parents note each unique trait
and each one they enumerate.
Our comfort they facilitate.
Their lives to us they dedicate.
Our first names we abbreviate.
For Katerina call me Kate,
Ignatius is condensed to Nate
or Iggy should you be a mate.
Our birth records they laminate.
Our nurseries they constellate.
Against most germs they vaccinate.
They’re thorough to inoculate.
We each become a state inmate.
We’re sent to schools that educate,
though some would say indoctrinate,
and with peers we confederate.
Chrome braces for our mouths dentate.
To stop decay we fluoridate.
Pains our mums ameliorate,
abrasions they iodinate.
Each year we grin for our portrait
to document our fast growth rate.
Fad diets to control our weight,
replace sugar with cyclamate.
For culture one trip to the Tate.
In sport some bones we dislocate.
Take tests teachers invigilate
and learn how to procrastinate.
In English told to lucubrate,
instructed when to hyphenate,
in math we’re taught to tabulate
and times-tables ingeminate.
Learn languages we mistranslate,
in history events that predate,
in chemistry lixiviate,
in music how to syncopate.
Boys weird out with skulls cucullate.
For A.D.D. we medicate.
Stray cats we like to lapidate.
Frail weaklings we excruciate.
Meanwhile young girls start to pupate
till we emerge as ripe jailbait.
By twelve it’s time to menstruate.
For forty years we’ll ovulate.
Safe sex pamphlets elucidate
about how we should conjugate.
Our parents we alienate.
We seek to individuate.
Into adults we’ll graduate
and in most ways just imitate
the homes where we originate,
so, cycles thus perpetuate.