Soul salve (belief systems)

We’ve ample gods to venerate

who don’t much help us mitigate

transgressions that we perpetrate:

the evils that we machinate.

616

 

Whatever faiths we nominate

have sacred laws we promulgate

and rituals we orchestrate

in temples that we consecrate.

620

 

For help, to gods we invocate.

In chorus skyward, we phonate.

Our ills we pray to palliate.

Of ancient times we’re derivate.

624

 

Good Catholics transubstantiate.

Our God divine we trifurcate.

In churches we conglobulate.

The Testaments we indagate.

628

 

The Pope lives in his city-state.

Archbishops wield rods uncinate.

These chaste men of the First Estate

reluctant to impropriate.

632

 

Profane we excommunicate,

The zealot strives as an oblate.

From Protestants we segregate

because they consubstantiate.

636

 

Jews are the chosen, we orate.

Observe laws of the rabbinate.

Once baby boys attain day eight

Their pink foreskins we amputate.

640

 

Towards Mecca Muslims supplicate.

The Qur’an we transliterate.

Obey codes of the Imamate.

A kaleidoscopic caliphate.

644

 

All Buddhists calmly meditate.

Round prayer wheels circumambulate.

Protesting monks self-immolate:

consuming flames asphyxiate.

648

 

Hindus seek to reincarnate.

A wealth of gods we animate.

At Thaipusam we celebrate.

Bad karma’s bound to ruinate.

652

 

Zoroastrians to fire relate.

Quakers prefer to rusticate.

To Taoists opposites equate.

Hari Krishnas tintinnabulate.

656

 

Rastafarians all cantillate

that Selassie is God incarnate.

Fundamentalists don’t innovate.

With nature Wiccans affiliate.

660

 

Astrologers read charts stellate.

Black Pagans tend to imprecate.

Good witches mix up mithridate.

Empaths seek spirits discarnate.

664

 

Creationists all intonate

and piously asseverate

God, from clay, did agglutinate

the man from whom we’re all agnate

668

 

Charismatics in tents jubilate.

Agnostics for hard proof we wait.

J’s Witnesses just irritate

with door knocking that won’t abate.

672

 

And Atheists extrapolate,

The universe is insensate.

Religions only dissipate

our skills to ratiocinate.

676